Fear....

This feeling that assaults me
the tremor felt inside.
My mind appears to be in accord with them,
can I stand... and defend myself?

What is it...
why is it?
Lack of trust...?
Could "they" be... stronger?


Where's the lack...
the weakness...
the missing link?



As many as "they" could be
"it's not in numbers",
a voice seems to whisper
signaling to me one thing:
" There's no need
no need indeed...
for fear to creep in. "


"It's you that gives them power,
It's you that makes them strong.
They are just but what you make of them
And they are just but empty thoughts."

mcr

The Fool

I am the Fool....
the fool I am
when I give heart
to what don't merit
don't deserve it
a tear
a thought
a feeling
not even a swat!

I am the Fool
the fool I am
when I think it's me
that it's all my fault
and don't see that it's
in their nature
and what "they" do
just show the who
and the what they are.

I am the Fool
the fool I'm not
Cause I see
I feel
I know
and keep walking
like the Fool I am.
The Fool... not fooled
by what they think
will hurt.
Because what doesn't kill me
just makes me strong.
And the Fool I am
just walk away
with all the riches
in my bag
of awe.

mcr

"De sed muerta
te busqué,
papel y lápiz

encontré.
Surcando el papel
en olas que
tormentas eran.

Y no se...
si la sed se mitigaba
o anegaban más mi ser.
De sed viva
surcando lo que
no es papel.
Me mira
y yo miro
a los ojos
de mi sed."

mcr

The Guide....

A journey...

to a place not this.
I was not alone
he was with me.

To the left the sea
a gravel path on my feet.
As he walk in front of me
To slow down I asked
because of my knees.

To find what was lost
to help me out in the search.
To see what I could not see
with his tricks and his wits.

Then I observed
no luggage with me.
It was left behind
and got worry about that.

Hmmm, worried I was,
because of what I might need.
The thought stepped in,
"I can buy new stuff
new things for my needs".


And after a while
I thought within me
"the old must be left back
for the new to have place".


And I'll keep walking
along with my guide....
Once dark again come
in the middle of night.

mcr

Failure....

Are you ready to fail,
to face failure in the face?
To start again and again
without losing yourself?

Are you ready to fail

by opening to new things
leave the safe zone of the known
to experience the unknown?

Are you ready
to courageously see
more than your
eyes meet?


Open yourself
to what is
and to what is
not yet seen?

Failure awaits you,
the target
will most likely elude you.
But once out of multiple times
the sprouting seed of so many failures
will tell you
"It was all
well worthwhile"....

mcr

Take me to peace...

Take me to peace
the place I long...
it is my goal the home
I''ll hold.

Take my feet
over those stepping
stones.

A step here...
another there.
Some patience here,
a nice word there.

Never a fist
but straight forward talk
sincere felt words
from the heart and the soul.

Take me to peace
not just for me,
let us join hands,
and yet...
the first thought
the first walk
towards it
will be
my goal!

mcr

(after reading Getting to Peace)

The art of war....

What kind of war?
To be, to do ...
to become.
To make things
happen,
from the front,
from the shadow?
And yet...
all is done.

The warfare is...

or is not?
The deception
the illusion
the ghost of what
is or what is not.

What will I gain?
Nothing now.
What will I gain?
Everything, later.




The war is on
and ready, willing
to march on.


Without fight, without effort
in a war that is not.
There's no conflict and
and there's every conflict.
But no one knows.
The whole of it,
not just a part.
The whole
and nothing more.

Discipline, control,
wisdom and courage.
Sincerity, integrity
the virtues that
makes us whole.





Deciding...
when to fight or not
to fight,
accepting to deal with
whatever comes forth,
breathing the same pneuma
with my peers,
preparing myself and
watching the unprepared,
making us capable
and owners of our own
ways.



Because after all
the best general
is the one
who knows
not to fight.

mcr

Weak...?

Am I weak
because I lack
the strength of my
younger years?

Time's inexorable path,
my body has not escaped
it's touch.

Am I weak
because the fire
has transmuted into
a different kind
of fire?


A colder , quieter
where stillness is the
root, the origin,
the source?

The strength
has changed,
the power
still inside.
A new venue,
road and path
the time has come
to walk.

Am I weak
really weak?
Who is to say?
Beware!...
The strength is still
there.

mcr

Determination....

This I that I am
ask to be
ask to live.
This I that I am
won't apologize
for being.

Old paths
and ways of being
left behind
a trail
of tears.
"No more", I say
"no more..."


The right, the grace,
the will to be
is mine.
This grace not from peers
but from a higher,
and deeper place
within.

The right to be
no one but me,
the right to feel
my own soul
within.

This I decide,
I choose
and don't ask others
to let me be.

mcr

Time...

Time...
enough time,
needed time,
great time,
abundant time.
This is what we need
to grow,

what we need to be.

What kind of time?
Time to enjoy...
time to play...
time to cherish...
all that there is.
Do we have this time?

Here in line,
waiting...
I just said,
"I am changing,
learning, being...
happy!"
Just happy
to be...

mcr

(While waiting in line at the bank)

Festina lente...

New cycle...
old path...
new ways..
and yet the same.



What was behind
caught with me
helping me see
what is to be.

Was I too quick?
Desperate...to see
to do and work
with those with me?

And here again
new beings with me
will they want to go
as far-fast as me?.

And yet, new eyes
replace the old
'fast' and 'slow'
with new meanings
ways and forms.

Still fast...
and yet a new kind of 'fast',
'Still'... slow...
a new meaning for 'slow'.

The bench of which
new tools in hand
will make the path
move...
ahead
and yet in calm.

mcr

Cronehood lesson ...#3

" The old doesn't go away...

you just learn

how to live with it."

mcr

Open systems...

Open... to receive
and to change.
To interchange and grow.
To become...

Open... to what is
what is not
whatever it is.

Not closed,
which would mean
death...
Static, unchanged
without movement.

Open to flow,
to dance, and to cry...
yes... no way around this.

Open and alive
to be
to laugh
to feel
and to give and receive.

mcr

Hang in there....

"Hang in there little, dear one...
don't fall just hang in there.

The fight is not over till is over...
and time will tell, only time.

Is not the big and strong
that gets to the end...
only the one staying put,
hanging strong.

Your heart, what hurts the most...
what may seem like a flaw.
Your heart will give you strength
will hold tight, not letting go.

mcr

Cronehood lesson... #2

Not yet a crone...
but walking there.
Not yet,
though what is
only waits
to manifest.

And yet,
another step.
An understanding...
'learn to be
happy with less.'

mcr

The hare...

" High above within the "castle"
a meeting, gathering of aiki souls
were well ahead.
Windows open
empty space
the danger of falling over
was all I felt.

"Close them was my thought",
as afraid I was from other "castles"
early in my childhood dreams
was ever present and now again the fear is here.

Looking through the glass windows
or walls I do not know.
Dozed off... or wake up
and all of a sudden
I turned the party off.

All picked up,
the trash or residuals to the garbage gone.
A rabbit or hare, I do not know.
White fluffy fur
and long ears in my arms I found.
What was she doing there
in this gathering of souls?
To take her home was my next concern
and off I go.

A house I found
or was I found by her?
In I went to leave safe the hare.
Surprised I was,
to see the owner in an old friend's face.
A housewife, with domestic garments
and hair fixed with paper rolls in her hair
not quite like her.
There I left the hare
to be cared and safe.

Out I went...
strange area, road or country side.
My car and another car
trying to get out to the road outside.
Dirt and rocks,
steep areas and some smooth
and some others not.
Round and round we went
not been able to get out.
And then, I woke up..."

mcr

Jump...!

Once again,
at the top.
After a hard and long
climbing up.
I could go down
retracing my steps.
Redoing my choices
and second guessing
myself.

But what for,
since life will
take me up here
again and again
once more.

I've seen myself
here before.
I've found myself
up and alone.
Not once
not twice
I can't count how
many times.

But here I've been
more times
than I care to count.

And alone it must be
relying only on
what is inside of me.
The doubts,
the faith,
the trust
and the thoughts
of knowing
sensing
relying
on what
I cannot see.

And yet,
knowing that
there is only
one thing.
Only one choice
and that is
only...
to jump!

mcr

(After a dream last night...)

I flew and up I went
at the top of the pole
I found myself.
It was time
time to what?
To come down
to touch the ground.

I knew not how,
I was afraid.
To hurt myself
while coming down.
I tried, I wished
I braced myself.
And yet my heart
and body paralyzed.

Then one voice,
the one inviting me
to get down.
Flew up to me
to where I was.
"I'll help you out,
just hold my hand".
And we jumped!

mcr

The couldron...

" I ask why,
so many whys
and I can't answer.
I do not know why.

I only know
that I must bear
that I must hold
both the question
and the answer
not knowing how.

The opposites within
the paradox
the crux
just for a while...
sometimes a long,

a long while.
And then,
to let it go...."

mcr

Currents...

Currents and undercurrents
when the windows are shut
the moon is out
and is me inside.

Flowing in all direction
it's levels up.
Flows all around me
and I in the middle of it all.

Why...where...what
does it all mean?
What is it that
pushes to come forth?

After the moon shelves herself
the questions persists
and keep rushing forth...
and
is time now to make sense of it all.

mcr

What...?

While staying still
I have started to understand.
To grasp
the why, the how
of what is for me to do
to be...

Confusion in the dark
of the night
assaulted me,
that old place
where doubt dwells
insinuated herself
once again to me.

Were my expectations
of what it should be?
The longing
of goals yet
to be reached?
Or could it be...
the goals in itself
indeed...?

The cause of the gloominess,
the sadness,
the recurring melancholy
known these days with
scientific names?
Covered and hidden away
as if by doing so
it will all disappear
and fade away?
Could the goals
provoke these...?

Still... what it will be?.
From a different vantage point
I'll try to see,
to find a new
viewpoint for it.
And yet,
I think, I know, I feel
what it is.

mcr