I'm not gone ....

Here I am again, 

I'm not gone.

Here I am again,

living each day. 

Soon it will come

to fruitition,

what I'm planting 

today!

mcr 

I will own my power ...

No more fear, no more doubts,

today myself and only myself I want

to be.

The struggle I leave behind,

 longing to be

 dwells no more in me,

"I am" and this truth

finally faces me.

Passive no more I need to be,

feeling guilty, ashamed and lacked.

The bellicose, contentious,

 aggressivenes of old ways

a space don't find,

the path of bitterness

fades away.

The clouts it's targets defines,

defying old doubts

contesting past thoughts,

"No more",

quietly I hear a sober voice inside.

"No more".

And tall I stand

abiding in this "I am"

without fear of someone else's thoughts,

validation or viewpoint.

Caring less and less

but of what I require

 to care more and more.

This "I" 

that I dearly hold. 

mcr



Longings ...

A dream, a longing,

visited me last night,

in my old teacher,

 sitting,  

waiting.

My heart I poured,

my soul came out

revealing a yearning

very deep inside.

"Oh, I so much wish,

 so deeply desire,

to start again this life 

that breath in me".

He smiled,

an held my hand!

mcr

Mourning...

I need to mourn

for  what it was

and can never, never

be again.

The unmet needs,

the cold arms,

the empty souls

so full of need

themselves.

Beings that couldn't 

give what I so much longed,

and that they themselves 

were so much in need. 

And in this mourning

the acceptance will come,

the search will end,

this never ending search, 

for what it was 

and is no more.

And I'll mourn

and woe and grief

my companions will be...

for a while.

And in the mourning

I will be healed. 

And with the healing

peace will come

and I'll be made whole. 

mcr

Taking it all in....

Here I am,

hearing the  autumn wind

playing between the

trees' arms,

my face warmed by

brother sun rays.

Brother pine tree

standing tall and strong

beside me,

giving me cover,

protecting me.

Sister flower greeting

me at my feet.

The cool breeze

refreshing my soul

as well as my skin.

And looking  farther

along the road where

I stand still I think,

"All is well, indeed,

all is well".

mcr

Time....

One day, one week,
a year perhaps...
is that all I need?

Even a second
a miracle can
bring forth
with a change
of heart,
my heart.


Give me now
with the fullness
of it's being.
Eyes opened
to the power
of it's might...
Today I change
what has been done,
changing the eyes
that saw all those wrongs.


I don't need tomorrows
when I have the silk
to braid today
what is there to be.
And I choose this second
what it's going to be
and just there...
by letting it go
let it be!

Today... is all I have,
would I want
something else?
Of all the time,
the seconds,
weeks or years,
give me today
only this instant
and I will inhabit it
with all my might
knowing in certainty
that it will be enough.

This ever present moment
will find me
shouting inside...
"I am eternal, I am,
I need nothing more!"

mcr

After reading,

"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations."

-Faith Baldwin

Who I am....?

I am not the same from old,
I've been told not to start from
a negative point.
The need to start from this place
comes from what has came
before.

What you see now is the result
from old and recent wounds,
where both opened me...
showed me...
guided me, to where ?

I'm no the same, I'm not ashamed
but less I once thought to be.
Needed too much, wanted too much,
gave too much, this now I know.

My fault it was, my need it was.
Not theirs, but mine the cause
and the effect
because we attract
and open doors for others to come
yet for them also to go
and leave with how much they can get.

What then, this I that now I am?

mcr

"The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names."

Chinese Proverbs