Dragonfly wisdom

Mourning...

2011-12-09T14:02:00.001-08:00

I need to mourn

for what it was

and can never, never

be again.

The unmet needs,

the cold arms,

the empty souls

so full of need

themselves.

Beings that couldn't

give what I so much longed,

and that they themselves

were so much in need.

And in this mourning

the acceptance will come,

the search will end,

this never ending search,

for what it was

and is no more.

And I'll mourn

and woe and grief

my companions will be...

for a while.

And in the mourning

I will be healed.

And with the healing

peace will come

and I'll be made whole.

mcr

Taking it all in....

2011-10-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

Here I am,

hearing the autumn wind

playing between the

trees' arms,

my face warmed by

brother sun rays.

Brother pine tree

standing tall and strong

beside me,

giving me cover,

protecting me.

Sister flower greeting

me at my feet.

The cool breeze

refreshing my soul

as well as my skin.

And looking farther

along the road where

I stand still I think,

"All is well, indeed,

all is well".

mcr

Time....

2011-07-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

One day, one week,
a year perhaps...
is that all I need?

Even a second
a miracle can
bring forth
with a change
of heart,
my heart.

Give me now
with the fullness
of it's being.
Eyes opened
to the power
of it's might...
Today I change
what has been done,
changing the eyes
that saw all those wrongs.

I don't need tomorrows
when I have the silk
to braid today
what is there to be.
And I choose this second
what it's going to be
and just there...
by letting it go
let it be!

Today... is all I have,
would I want
something else?
Of all the time,
the seconds,
weeks or years,
give me today
only this instant
and I will inhabit it
with all my might
knowing in certainty
that it will be enough.

This ever present moment
will find me
shouting inside...
"I am eternal, I am,
I need nothing more!"

mcr

After reading,

"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations."

-Faith Baldwin

Who I am....?

2011-03-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

I am not the same from old,
I've been told not to start from
a negative point.
The need to start from this place
comes from what has came
before.

What you see now is the result
from old and recent wounds,
where both opened me...
showed me...
guided me, to where ?

I'm no the same, I'm not ashamed
but less I once thought to be.
Needed too much, wanted too much,
gave too much, this now I know.

My fault it was, my need it was.
Not theirs, but mine the cause
and the effect
because we attract
and open doors for others to come
yet for them also to go
and leave with how much they can get.

What then, this I that now I am?

mcr

"The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names."

Chinese Proverbs

Winter solstice.....

2010-12-21T10:35:00.000-08:00

Shortest day longest night
with all that comes about!
All those things I dread and feared
were but gates to the new from my auld
and tired self,
with the light that shines in longer days
the sun with rays of warmth and glow
will bring the joy I thought long lost
but no...lost not they were
but kept secure within the night.
Occult, concealed just for a while
till the night gave way to bright light.
...

The darkest night must come and go
for us to see the light!

mcr

The old I leave behind....

2010-12-09T05:29:00.001-08:00

To make space for the new
it's hard I know
I feel
the pain inside
of letting everything
pass by.

Inside my heart
a conflict rise
wanting to hang on
to the pain,
to what I thought I had
yet was so false in part.

There's no other way
I know, but scared
and sad I find myself.

But to let go
is the path, the job at hand
and empty myself
of all,
of everything
that I am.

And by losing all
I may find myself whole.

mcr

A new star....

2010-11-27T04:47:00.000-08:00

A new star to follow
a new dream to live
the old stays back
as old dreams die
and wither within.

Did I dream too much?
Did I overstep my path?
Where did I lost sight
of what matters
and counts the most?

"Hush", a small powerful voice
I hear inside.
"Say no more,
don't let the pain do the talk!"

"The old has to die
to give way to the new.
It's not that it was bad
it's that is of no use.
As stepping stones
along our path
their purpose was served
by pushing ourselves forth
and pulling from upfront...
what is not yet
was helped by the old.
Don't you see... can you see?
It was all meant
to be.

mcr

2010-10-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

I'm home....!

2010-08-22T17:24:00.000-07:00

Reaching out....

How strange this feeling...

a hand extended, an effort...

with no one at the other side.

The sadness, the anguish

not knowing why.

Did I over extended myself?
Did I over extended my stay?

To move, to search, to seek

in another place

whatever I longed,

hoped and yearned

that wasn't there

but in another place.

mcr

(While living in Puerto Rico.)

2010-08-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

Haiku (1)

2010-08-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

Hovering......

The unknown my wings beat without end the tension of which I learn to bear. What is, is not yet complete and I need to stay motionless and so very still. From above I see or do I see? Not understanding what lies beneath. Not able to make sense of all the chaos in the grind that's taking place within my heart. And here I am hovering and still, moving and moving not waiting to see while my heart makes her peace. My soundless, motionless action, of being still while everything goes on without me.

-mcr

Uncertainty....

2010-07-27T18:13:00.000-07:00

This dithering of my heart
a wavering thought
inside,
what I want I doubt
and hesitate inside.

survive it must
if it's worth to have
it's existence risksif I can't
or want

The space awaits
no time in sight
the unfolded blue
is asking why
can I
do I
will I?

Not known
the choice in sight...
This heart
this "eye" that look
and don't
or won't find

A breath awaits
to clear and say
the doubt
that I won't say
and yet... remains.

-mcr

Dragonfly....

2010-06-25T17:46:00.002-07:00

I saw you today,

surprised I was

to see you again.

You followed me

all the way here,

were you waiting,

flying and hovering

while I arrived?

You were bigger,

stronger and beautiful,

to miss you quite impossible was.

In front of me there

you were

and I welcomed you again

in my life.

mcr

Moving....

2010-06-01T14:19:00.000-07:00

Here I am,

for a while,

the clouds

will take me far.

The sea I'll see

and leave behind

with waves

of water

will say goodbye.

mcr

Unexpected paths...

2010-05-18T14:28:00.000-07:00

The long lasting goal of peace and happiness

may come from such unexpected roads.

This one I know,

and walk from now on.

mcr

The gift...

2010-05-16T16:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's found in the most

unexpected places....

-mcr

2010-02-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

Fantoche....

Genuineness...

what is it?
Should I be worried
for what it is?

"No", I said.
"We should not be worried,
if we remain true
to what we are."

"Fantoche"...
a braggart.
We are not that.
If we walk the path
with a clean heart.

Not that we are perfect,
perfect we are not.
Mistakes in abundance
lie along our trail.

But genuine... not perfect
honest and whole
only one thing
"Fantoche",
oh, that
we are not!

mcr

2010-02-01T04:29:00.000-08:00

Do you dare...?

Do you dare to say,
"I love you" ?
Do you dare to cry?
Do you dare to say,
"I hate you" ?
Do you dare to get mad?

But, no only to dare.
But to own what you feel,
love and 'madness,'
hate and kindness,
tears and laughter
as part of the whole
you call you
and I call me.

Do you dare?
I dare you....!

-mcr

This is who I am....

2010-01-27T04:53:00.000-08:00

As intense as my love is,

it's opposite habits in me.
I can't let myself be one
and don't let the other be.

It frightens me
well deep inside...
I know
it frightens you
to see this sight.

But what am I to do?
Deny one part to embrace it's
counterpart?
Accept one half
and reject the other side?
Don't you know, can't you see,
by doing this
I cease to exist?

There's no way
no path around,
no other way
but to see it through.

I'll embrace and
care and hold,
receiving as
a grace bestowed
the whole nature
of who lives in me
knowing that the one
without the other just
can't be.

-mcr

Turn the page....

2010-01-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

"Turn the page"...
I was told today.
"What was was,
there's no turning back."

Illusions, dreams, wishes
for things to be
and so many other things
stand looking to me.
But none of them were
none of them
indeed.

"Look around,
just in front and here.
Here they are,
those who'll work with you.
Turn the page and you'll see,
a new chapter of
greater things to be."

"Turn the page",
once more the voice said.
"There's nothing,
no one waiting for you
back there."

"Like ghosts of and old house
wandering in pain,
carrying chains around their
necks and legs.
Let them go, cut them loose
and move over a new page.
Write a new story
of endless hope and joy."

"And don't bother to look back...
turn the page
and leave all that behind."

And... I
the only one that can
with decisive hand,
clear mind,
and free heart,
turned the page.

-mcr

Fear....

2009-11-21T08:30:00.000-08:00

This feeling that assaults me
the tremor felt inside.
My mind appears to be in accord with them,
can I stand... and defend myself?

What is it...
why is it?
Lack of trust...?
Could "they" be... stronger?

Where's the lack...
the weakness...
the missing link?

As many as "they" could be
"it's not in numbers",
a voice seems to whisper
signaling to me one thing:
" There's no need
no need indeed...
for fear to creep in. "

"It's you that gives them power,
It's you that makes them strong.
They are just but what you make of them
And they are just but empty thoughts."

mcr

The Fool

2009-10-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

I am the Fool....
the fool I am
when I give heart
to what don't merit
don't deserve it
a tear
a thought
a feeling
not even a swat!

I am the Fool
the fool I am
when I think it's me
that it's all my fault
and don't see that it's
in their nature
and what "they" do
just show the who
and the what they are.

I am the Fool
the fool I'm not
Cause I see
I feel
I know
and keep walking
like the Fool I am.
The Fool... not fooled
by what they think
will hurt.
Because what doesn't kill me
just makes me strong.
And the Fool I am
just walk away
with all the riches
in my bag
of awe.

mcr

2009-08-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

"De sed muerta
te busqué,
papel y lápiz

encontré.
Surcando el papel
en olas que
tormentas eran.

Y no se...
si la sed se mitigaba
o anegaban más mi ser.
De sed viva
surcando lo que
no es papel.
Me mira
y yo miro
a los ojos
de mi sed."

mcr

The Guide....

2009-07-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

A journey...

to a place not this.
I was not alone
he was with me.

To the left the sea
a gravel path on my feet.
As he walk in front of me
To slow down I asked
because of my knees.

To find what was lost
to help me out in the search.
To see what I could not see
with his tricks and his wits.

Then I observed
no luggage with me.
It was left behind
and got worry about that.

Hmmm, worried I was,
because of what I might need.
The thought stepped in,
"I can buy new stuff
new things for my needs".

And after a while
I thought within me
"the old must be left back
for the new to have place".

And I'll keep walking
along with my guide....
Once dark again come
in the middle of night.

mcr

Failure....

2009-05-12T04:28:00.000-07:00

Are you ready to fail,
to face failure in the face?
To start again and again
without losing yourself?

Are you ready to fail

by opening to new things
leave the safe zone of the known
to experience the unknown?

Are you ready
to courageously see
more than your
eyes meet?

Open yourself
to what is
and to what is
not yet seen?

Failure awaits you,
the target
will most likely elude you.
But once out of multiple times
the sprouting seed of so many failures
will tell you
"It was all
well worthwhile"....

mcr

Take me to peace...

2009-04-01T09:59:00.000-07:00

Take me to peace
the place I long...
it is my goal the home
I''ll hold.

Take my feet
over those stepping
stones.

A step here...
another there.
Some patience here,
a nice word there.

Never a fist
but straight forward talk
sincere felt words
from the heart and the soul.

Take me to peace
not just for me,
let us join hands,
and yet...
the first thought
the first walk
towards it
will be
my goal!

mcr

(after reading Getting to Peace)

The art of war....

2009-03-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

What kind of war?
To be, to do ...
to become.
To make things
happen,
from the front,
from the shadow?
And yet...
all is done.

The warfare is...

or is not?
The deception
the illusion
the ghost of what
is or what is not.

What will I gain?
Nothing now.
What will I gain?
Everything, later.

The war is on
and ready, willing
to march on.

Without fight, without effort
in a war that is not.
There's no conflict and
and there's every conflict.
But no one knows.
The whole of it,
not just a part.
The whole
and nothing more.

Discipline, control,
wisdom and courage.
Sincerity, integrity
the virtues that
makes us whole.

Deciding...
when to fight or not
to fight,
accepting to deal with
whatever comes forth,
breathing the same pneuma
with my peers,
preparing myself and
watching the unprepared,
making us capable
and owners of our own
ways.

Because after all
the best general
is the one
who knows
not to fight.

mcr

2009-03-15T16:10:00.000-07:00

Weak...?

Am I weak
because I lack
the strength of my
younger years?

Time's inexorable path,
my body has not escaped
it's touch.

Am I weak
because the fire
has transmuted into
a different kind
of fire?

A colder , quieter
where stillness is the
root, the origin,
the source?

The strength
has changed,
the power
still inside.
A new venue,
road and path
the time has come
to walk.

Am I weak
really weak?
Who is to say?
Beware!...
The strength is still
there.

mcr

Determination....

2009-02-16T07:52:00.000-08:00

This I that I am
ask to be
ask to live.
This I that I am
won't apologize
for being.

Old paths
and ways of being
left behind
a trail
of tears.
"No more", I say
"no more..."

The right, the grace,
the will to be
is mine.
This grace not from peers
but from a higher,
and deeper place
within.

The right to be
no one but me,
the right to feel
my own soul
within.

This I decide,
I choose
and don't ask others
to let me be.

mcr

Time...

2009-01-31T03:33:00.000-08:00

Time...
enough time,
needed time,
great time,
abundant time.
This is what we need
to grow,

what we need to be.

What kind of time?
Time to enjoy...
time to play...
time to cherish...
all that there is.
Do we have this time?

Here in line,
waiting...
I just said,
"I am changing,
learning, being...
happy!"
Just happy
to be...

mcr

(While waiting in line at the bank)

Festina lente...

2009-01-03T03:50:00.001-08:00

New cycle...
old path...
new ways..
and yet the same.

What was behind
caught with me
helping me see
what is to be.

Was I too quick?
Desperate...to see
to do and work
with those with me?

And here again
new beings with me
will they want to go
as far-fast as me?.

And yet, new eyes
replace the old
'fast' and 'slow'
with new meanings
ways and forms.

Still fast...
and yet a new kind of 'fast',
'Still'... slow...
a new meaning for 'slow'.

The bench of which
new tools in hand
will make the path
move...
ahead
and yet in calm.

mcr

Cronehood lesson ...#3

2008-12-27T13:37:00.000-08:00

" The old doesn't go away...

you just learn

how to live with it."

mcr

Open systems...

2008-12-24T13:52:00.001-08:00

Open... to receive
and to change.
To interchange and grow.
To become...

Open... to what is
what is not
whatever it is.

Not closed,
which would mean
death...
Static, unchanged
without movement.

Open to flow,
to dance, and to cry...
yes... no way around this.

Open and alive
to be
to laugh
to feel
and to give and receive.

mcr

Hang in there....

2008-10-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

"Hang in there little, dear one...
don't fall just hang in there.

The fight is not over till is over...
and time will tell, only time.

Is not the big and strong
that gets to the end...
only the one staying put,
hanging strong.

Your heart, what hurts the most...
what may seem like a flaw.
Your heart will give you strength
will hold tight, not letting go.

mcr

Cronehood lesson... #2

2008-09-09T07:35:00.000-07:00

Not yet a crone...
but walking there.
Not yet,
though what is
only waits
to manifest.

And yet,
another step.
An understanding...
'learn to be
happy with less.'

mcr

The hare...

2008-08-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

" High above within the "castle"
a meeting, gathering of aiki souls
were well ahead.
Windows open
empty space
the danger of falling over
was all I felt.

"Close them was my thought",
as afraid I was from other "castles"
early in my childhood dreams
was ever present and now again the fear is here.

Looking through the glass windows
or walls I do not know.
Dozed off... or wake up
and all of a sudden
I turned the party off.

All picked up,
the trash or residuals to the garbage gone.
A rabbit or hare, I do not know.
White fluffy fur
and long ears in my arms I found.
What was she doing there
in this gathering of souls?
To take her home was my next concern
and off I go.

A house I found
or was I found by her?
In I went to leave safe the hare.
Surprised I was,
to see the owner in an old friend's face.
A housewife, with domestic garments
and hair fixed with paper rolls in her hair
not quite like her.
There I left the hare
to be cared and safe.

Out I went...
strange area, road or country side.
My car and another car
trying to get out to the road outside.
Dirt and rocks,
steep areas and some smooth
and some others not.
Round and round we went
not been able to get out.
And then, I woke up..."

mcr

Jump...!

2008-08-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

Once again,
at the top.
After a hard and long
climbing up.
I could go down
retracing my steps.
Redoing my choices
and second guessing
myself.

But what for,
since life will
take me up here
again and again
once more.

I've seen myself
here before.
I've found myself
up and alone.
Not once
not twice
I can't count how
many times.

But here I've been
more times
than I care to count.

And alone it must be
relying only on
what is inside of me.
The doubts,
the faith,
the trust
and the thoughts
of knowing
sensing
relying
on what
I cannot see.

And yet,
knowing that
there is only
one thing.
Only one choice
and that is
only...
to jump!

mcr

(After a dream last night...)

I flew and up I went
at the top of the pole
I found myself.
It was time
time to what?
To come down
to touch the ground.

I knew not how,
I was afraid.
To hurt myself
while coming down.
I tried, I wished
I braced myself.
And yet my heart
and body paralyzed.

Then one voice,
the one inviting me
to get down.
Flew up to me
to where I was.
"I'll help you out,
just hold my hand".
And we jumped!

mcr

The couldron...

2008-08-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

" I ask why,
so many whys
and I can't answer.
I do not know why.

I only know
that I must bear
that I must hold
both the question
and the answer
not knowing how.

The opposites within
the paradox
the crux
just for a while...
sometimes a long,

a long while.
And then,
to let it go...."

mcr

Currents...

2008-07-09T17:38:00.000-07:00

Currents and undercurrents
when the windows are shut
the moon is out
and is me inside.

Flowing in all direction
it's levels up.
Flows all around me
and I in the middle of it all.

Why...where...what
does it all mean?
What is it that
pushes to come forth?

After the moon shelves herself
the questions persists
and keep rushing forth...
and
is time now to make sense of it all.

mcr

What...?

2008-07-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

While staying still
I have started to understand.
To grasp
the why, the how
of what is for me to do
to be...

Confusion in the dark
of the night
assaulted me,
that old place
where doubt dwells
insinuated herself
once again to me.

Were my expectations
of what it should be?
The longing
of goals yet
to be reached?
Or could it be...
the goals in itself
indeed...?

The cause of the gloominess,
the sadness,
the recurring melancholy
known these days with
scientific names?
Covered and hidden away
as if by doing so
it will all disappear
and fade away?
Could the goals
provoke these...?

Still... what it will be?.
From a different vantage point
I'll try to see,
to find a new
viewpoint for it.
And yet,
I think, I know, I feel
what it is.

mcr

At the Edge....

2008-05-23T04:45:00.000-07:00

" One step...
only one step
and everything changes.
Standing at the edge
of what is to what it
may become.

What is this "it"?
A he or she?
A place, an effort?
At the edge...
for a while,
as a sudden,
subtle,
quiet stir
"it" comes to me.

And yet,
what edge is this?...

(will follow)

mcr

Dragon fly... totem bear...

2008-04-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

"Dragon fly...
totem bear...
here I am
please!
get me there."

mcr

The who that I am...

2008-04-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

I am...

mcr

Cronehood lesson... #1

2008-01-24T08:12:00.000-08:00

" Getting to know

and getting to learn

what is for me

to learn and care."

-mcr

Longing...

2007-11-27T03:38:00.000-08:00

Here I am, yes
once more now...sitting
and aware of all
that is.
The ribbons that
relate, associate
connect me to the past
their pull no longer
present
by a decision to let
them walk.

Here I am, sitting, resting,
resting?
My back to the past,
no longer asking, expecting nor waiting
for nothing
...anything
whatever it was.

Do I rest?
Really rest?
No...
The truth is
a longing...
Longing for what?

mcr

Never enough...

2007-09-29T17:44:00.000-07:00

" Today I understood,
yes ... finally understood
that no matter what I do
it will not be enough
for some or maybe
many...
who cares now that
I finally understood.

Nothing will be enough
for those who see
what I don't see.
Because by not seeing
what I see
their eyes - their heart -
will remain close
to what matters for me
the most.

I can see why they
admire force so much.
But is it enough?
I can see why they search
so much for strength.
But will it last long?

I finally see... and by seeing
finally understand
that no matter how much I do
it will never be enough so...
from now on I'll walk my way
and do my thing,
follow the beat within
and walk my path.
Because no matter what...
for them - whoever 'them' will be-
it will never be enough.

mcr

The same and... yet not the same

2007-09-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

" I am the same
and yet...
not the same.
The old, the past
what was
has changed...
what?
Experiences,
life and relations
have brought change,
but mostly
a new sense
of me."

mcr

Let them see my back...I'm moving on

2007-08-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

Let them see my back...
I care not for what they say
for what they do...
It can't be worst
than what I can do.

"My back covered",
some one said.
Why is it that I feel - felt
so sad...
and also insecure?.
Some how I knew...
Oh, yes I knew.

Whom do I am call to trust?

None but myself.
Who can do for me?
Only one, and it is me.
And I am not alone...
have never been alone.

If there is something
that I have learned,
is to be true
to what I feel.
And truer to who I am.

Let them see my back
not because I am running.
Only because I keep walking
searching, looking, moving on.

My back is safe,
only safe
by the sacred winds,
the holy Ghost
and the loving care
of the Divine.

mcr

Myself...

2007-07-22T06:08:00.001-07:00

" I am at my best

when I am myself. "

mcr

Long time no see...

2007-07-08T18:12:00.001-07:00

Long time no see
I am here, not gone
I am here
waiting to see...
What is to be,
what is to come
of all this life
around and within.
Without fear...
at last without fear.

There was a time
a moment in time,
when the doubts,
the questions
the darkness that came
for a time, yes only for a time
overwhelmed my soul.
For a moment I felt loose
for a moment I felt lost.
For a moment I felt...

Yet, no more.
The wound, the hurt,
the doubt...
all is falling in place.

mcr

Honesty ...

2007-04-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

This... yes, this is who I am...

Woman, aged and happy.

Innocent and idealist,

yet, learning to see...

to see things as they are.

Angry, sad and mad...

perfectly mad now.

A few days...

forgetful, forgiving, in peace,

ready to start new once again.

This is who I am, yes...who I am

ready to change, grow and evolve

to see, see again things as they are.

Happy? Or sad? Even mad...

whatever it is...

one hundred percent

truly who I am.

mcr

Why?...

2007-04-09T05:18:00.000-07:00

One day, a day, or was it today,
She found herself asking
searching, looking
for what?
She couldn't find herself,
nothing made sense.

Was it the look she gave him/her?
The words she said?
Was it the unsaid words?
What she did or did not do?
Could it be one thing or many,
Or nothing at all?

Big avalanches, small ones...
Great earthquakes and also small.
Big causes?
Small ones?
Or nothing specific at all?
Why do they happen,
is there a definite cause?

Cause and effect,
karma or destiny
which one is it?
Is this important at all?
One word, one look, one action
or nothing at all?

mcr

(After reading Ubiquity, Why Catastrophes Happen...by Mark Buchanan. And , oh yes, after one more crisis.)

Heart function...Mind function...

2007-03-23T15:38:00.000-07:00

Heart function...
mind function...
I am torn between
the two.
Which is it?
How much of it?
One or the other,
or maybe both?

In the middle
as an spectator,
one whispers and
the other too.
"It is this",
"No, it is that"
What is this I am
to do?

Days, weeks and months
and yet here... yes still here
the question prevails.

Heart function...mind function
a combination of both?

mcr

Specious moment

2007-01-23T08:40:00.000-08:00

" Don't talk,
can you hold
the tension?"
Little dragonfly

whispers in my ear.
"Just let go
and see
let go
and hear
suspended in
the sea.

What sea is this?

The Unknown, the Void,

Sunyata?

The whole from

which

everything is.

In which
you need to stay

still".

Still?... Quiet?...
In the middle
of what?
"A dynamic space
where what is,
no longer exist.
Only the tension
of the old dying
giving way
to the new."
And me in the middle
holding
both still.

For how long?
Will this tension
the struggle...
The moment which is not
and yet is.
The always
becoming
and ceasing
to exist?

"Don't talk,
don't ask,
just wait.
Keep your ground
in the eternal "is".
Holding the tension
and let it all be.
In silence
in quiet,
not telling
not asking,
not knowing
just let it all be."

mcr

It is all for you...

2007-01-13T16:49:00.000-08:00

My soul within

can't find the peace,

the trust I used to feel.

What is it?. Why is it?

I do not know.

Voices... confusion...

Can't they see?

Is not one or two

but all.

Do they know?

Do I know?...

This thing I want to do?

This path I want to walk?

This way I want to work?

Where have they lost themselves?

Or is it me the lost one?

My heart , a little voice inside

stills my mind and stills my heart.

"You are not lost,

it takes more time

for them to see

what you have seen."

The hurt remains,

and yet...

my soul quieter now,

get the sense

that all is well.

"A little time...

for now just let go

and let yourself

be renewed.

Is not for them,

this is all for you."

mcr

Once more...letting go

2006-12-08T17:15:00.000-08:00

Thank you little dragonfly...
for letting me fly.
The heaviness of the flesh
made it a little hard.

Yet, the soul...
the spirit...
and the heart
gave me wings
to move around.

Could it have been faster?
"Of course", I say.
Could it have been stronger?
Your voice reminds me,
"Could" is not what is.
Why care?,
Just take delight
on what is
and nothing else.

There will be more
not just this one.
To play, to do, to show.
Let it be as it is.
Nothing more.
Enjoy today
and let it go.

Remember...

always remember
to loosen the grip,
with open hands
for things
to come and go.
Release and let it go
yes...let it all go.

Dragonfly,
you gave me wings
to be...and yet not to be.
There will be more,
many and much
to be and again

to let it go.

mcr

Letting go...

2006-11-17T03:51:00.000-08:00

Almost there,

getting there

the view

clearer now.

A breath,

a song

giving winds

to my soul.

All the illusions

the turmoil

the doubts

who cares?

"I do"...

It was just that

a dream

more like a

nightmare

I think.

Focusing,

trusting,

yet more importantly

loosing

this sense of being

to get there

still I don't know

where.

That's exactly

the point.

To let go

just once more.

Is not the first self

I've had to let go.

It won't be the last

I hope.

Getting there

I'll know.

To once again

let it go...

mcr

Tough times...

2006-11-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

Nowhere to go,
escape from myself.
Isn't that
foolish enough?
Desperate to find
a time for repose
just in quiet
and silence to be.

The struggle within
seems to never end
to prove...
to prove what...is just that,
but insane.

It's all in my hands
in my mind
in my heart.
It's up to me
why don't I realize?
Yes, why?

No more fight,
no more stuggle
no more cares
no more thoughts.
Cause it is here
and I decide to let it go...
let it all go.

Do I surrender?
Certainly not.
But do a truce
I call myself forth?
To this I say "yes"
and take a rest
from the fight.
And laying
still all my minds.

A rest
my eyes closed
my head placed
submerged
in the well of the unknown.
No more knowing,
let just rest.
Perhaps it is time
to just let
everything go.

And by having nothing

more to hold on

the peace, the joy will

rush back as it was before.

Let me jump, step in

just throw

myself to the void

and find myself again

where it all begun.

mcr

What is it...?

2006-10-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

What is it that I want to prove?

To myself... to whom?

Wasted time ... wasted life

What is it,

little dragonfly...what is it?

The breath, the strength...

the days and time that goes by.

I don't want them to just fade away

in the absurdity of what?

To fly like you

been just who you are.

Being and been compared

to what?.

Who is to say who am I?

Who is to say what I can?

Who is this self willing to die?.

Yet to live is even more hard

Lets call this self... Yes! ... I'll call this self.

I'll summon her and looking in her eyes

in a whisper will ask

"Why are you holding me down?,

Don't you see that I want to live and fly?"

mcr

Again...

2006-10-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

Doubts...

For the first time

in a long time

have come to me.

Uncertain

wishing them

not to be.

But they are

and here I am

what am I to do

to be?

A new phase

a stage

of what is

or has to be...

Will I be pushing

too hard?

Will I be fit?

What is it..

if it is?

mcr

Perceptions

2006-08-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

Friend or foe...
what is it that I see?
Tell me little dragonfly
what will it be?

"It is for you to decide...
It is for you to see.
Within you is the lock
within you is the key..."

What should I look for?
What should I seek?
It appears to be real
all that I see.

"You make it real...
don't you see?
It is a matter of choice,
not theirs but yours."

It is in my hands

yet, more in my mind

it's up to me dragonfly.

I choose...
peace.

mcr

Hanging down...

2006-06-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

"I am who I am,

not afraid anymore

of what I feel or of what

I know.

Doubts...

not as much as before.

Fears...

smaller, fainter,

even jokes!

Hanging down

from the tree,

trusting more

even me.

A long way, isn't it?

I myself ask myself.

A smile in my lips,

no words,

just a smile.

The answer is just this."

mcr

I've not forgotten...

2006-05-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

Little dragonfly I have not forgotten you...

The work has been hard and silently inside.

New things are growing and becoming

for you, for me, for all to see...

How am I to share?

Is my question to the divine air.

When, will there be a time

for me to speak, to be, to share?

"It has been , it is , it will be ...",

I hear a quiet voice speaking to me.

"Let the process keep it's course

everything already is been done."

mcr

Errors...

2006-02-05T16:15:00.000-08:00

Dear dragonfly hear me now...

I've heard that errors are but stepping stones

where our feet step and go.

Where to but, to beyond

the place our steps made us fall.

It hurts... it will pass.

Let me remember... not the pain.

Let me remember the love

that will help me correct my path.

mcr

Perfect...

2005-11-21T13:52:00.000-08:00

" I am perfect as I am...

not in me ... But, in someone

much more greater than myself. "

mcr

You are not alone...

2005-10-22T04:26:00.000-07:00

" In a world

where hopelessness

seems to prevail,

it is important to know

that we are not alone..."

mcr

2005-10-09T17:34:00.000-07:00

" What is it that you want me to be?,

oh little dragonfly.

Lots of voices in my head keeps

the peace so far from me.

This and so many constructs

of the mind...

what is it little dragonfly...?

To search...to do... to rest...

to let all go?

My throat is in pain

there's a voice asking to come out.

What holds me down,

and pin me on the wall?

What is it dragonfly

that I want to shout?

Tell me, help me to see...

hover above and inside of me.

Still my mind, my heart and my soul.

While the wounded path of this lonely road

I'll walk with your wings

beating over me."

mcr

When is a change needed...?

2005-10-03T04:26:00.000-07:00

" When it's needed..."

mcr

A dragonfly visited me ...

2005-09-21T05:43:00.000-07:00

" You came
you entered...
What do you wanted me
to hear?
Hovering and flying,
looking for my
atention might it be?

'Just be yourself ',

it seemed to be the words.

Flying around the dojo space

as a blessing poured from

the sky.

Nothing more but to just be myself.

The space is mine, the space is there

to just be

and enjoy what is. "

mcr

Let's pray....

2005-09-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

" Let us pray for those in need,

so their heart now be at peace.

Every hurt and soreness be

with love and compassion completly healed.

Let the hunger, the thirst

be satisfied

not with words and wishes alone.

Let their bodies and their souls

receive the bread each of them long.

It's not time to justify, to blame or judge

nor search to understand.

Only love will heal, will feed,

will get us over

this troublesome time."

mcr

Empty spaces...

2005-08-31T08:52:00.000-07:00

" There are no empty spaces...

only spaces... full of possibilities. "

mcr

Beating wings....

2005-08-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

" Beating wings,

hovering flight

just above my soul.

The stillness

over me,

the humming

I just hear.

Stirs the soul

within.

So much... movement.

And yet, ...no movement.

This secret I must learn

to overcome, to beat and conquer

all obstacles in the way.

Archaic being

from ancient times

keep hovering over me.

The stillness... the movement

I learn from you

winged being

of dated times."

mcr

First and second...

2005-08-17T04:39:00.000-07:00

The first step after doing something,

anything is..

to let go...

The second...

let God...!

mcr

Quantum leap forward

2005-08-11T04:38:00.000-07:00

" The heaviness of what we leave behind...

this feeling... so strange.

I'm out there but still...

feeling the grip of what is behind.

I want to extend, to move forward and beyond,

but my feet are here...

with all the heaviness of what is

has been...?

My feet are here...

and from here I fly..."

mcr

The difference...

2005-07-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

" I want to make a difference...",

my heart says.

"You have to be the difference",

my soul whispers .

"Would you be there for me?",

my heart asks.

" I am the difference" ,

she responds back.

mcr

Beginnings...

2005-07-28T04:16:00.000-07:00

" Show me your face dragonfly...

let me hear your voice...

Spread your wings above my soul,

and your words I'll dare to share...

mcr